I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
