the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize