Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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