Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
only you would photoshop your dick
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
