i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
