Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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