why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
