He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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