I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i will never coherently bang her
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
