So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
