Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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