Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
