i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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