My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
