Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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