Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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