we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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