idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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