none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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