rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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