I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
