big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
where am i from again
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
