i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
