I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
