So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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