You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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