Me too!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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