what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My pussy is not your playground.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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