my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
