Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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