make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
