I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
