If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
