It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
