we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
