so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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