they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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