Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
