he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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