I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
