haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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