It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
