i don't like sucking hair
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
