I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
