erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
