All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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