Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
