All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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