ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize