This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize