Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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