im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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