so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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