So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
