Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
