oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
