Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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