Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
