Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
